Am I Ready?

Brenda Hammond
www.magicalmotherhood.com | www.brendahammond.ca

Surely every mother-to-be asks herself this question. Although I doubt we can ever be fully prepared for labour, let alone a brand new baby, most of us do our best. We take classes, read books, and make an effort to find a competent and compatible doctor, midwife and/or doula. We take advantage of the help we can get from chiropractors, nutritionists, and generally try to take care of ourselves. We boost our spirits by buying, or borrowing, modish "preggie" clothes, or by getting a flattering haircut and the pampering of a mani/pedi.

But is there something more we can or should do to ensure that we are indeed ready? I believe so. I believe that in order to ensure that we are ready to welcome our new baby, and ready to be good mothers and fathers, we need to consciously make a place in our heart for the coming child. And, having been through this process and journey four times myself, I know exactly how unreal this "being" seems who will soon be joining our family feels. That's partly why the moment of birth is so miraculous.

The process of being ready to welcome a new life into ours is rather like having a book published. Right now, I'm at the waiting and anticipating stage of creating something (like a new life) because next April my new novel (Cape Town) will be out on the shelves and for sale. That book that is the end result of my creative energies won't feel totally real, and my ability to conceptualize it won't be concrete, until I hold it in my hands – especially as I began writing this particular story fifteen years ago! Lucky for us, we don't gestate babies for fifteen years, isn't it?

If – by chance – you're not a new mother, you may ask: Why bother to spend time on inner work when I'm going to be very occupied and involved with my baby right from the get go?

The reason is simple. I believe the work you do to prepare (whether you are a first or fourth time mum), both in and for your mind, in order to connect with your baby could well impact both the health of the child and the birth process. From what I have been fortunate enough to observe, taking the time to prepare your mind and your heart can make the whole process of labour and delivery go more smoothly, and help to ensure that you feel attached to your newborn. More and more, research is showing us how early in the womb the developing fetus can see and hear and generally respond to their outer environment – which includes you and your environment – but there's also the inner environment that has to do with your thoughts, emotions and actions. Babies-in-utero respond to these as well.

So, how do we prepare to ensure that we are ready? When? Here are some suggestions:

1. While shopping for Baby.

Don't simply think 'This is cute!' Consider rather asking your baby (mentally that is!!) 'Would this be good and helpful for you?' Think warmth, natural fibres to nourish baby's dominant but sensitive sense of touch. How about colour? 'Would this please you?' and pattern... 'Would this be too garish or disturbing?' While listening for the answer, you might imagine your little cherub sharing with you through facial expressions just how they feel about the choices you are offering to them.

2. When you get home, or after your baby shower, you'll put Baby's things away.

Again, as you fold garments and slide them into a drawer, you can imagine your coming child watching you with a loving gaze. Remember, you'll always hold a unique place in this little person's life.

3. While decorating Baby's nursery.

Ask what your coming child would like as far as colours are concerned. And again, imagine him/her watching you as you arrange the room or make up the crib.

4. And lastly, if you sit knitting, crocheting, or sewing something for baby,
take the time to communicate with Baby, through thoughts, feelings, imagined facial expressions – both yours and your baby's.

The thing is, as human beings we have this wonderful ability to consciously direct our thoughts. Make use of that unique gift and you'll surely enrich your connection with the coming child.

Lastly, a heads up. As 'B Day' grows nearer, two soul attitudes can work in a negative way. Fear is the first. Don't allow others' scare stories to take hold of your mind. Secondly, don't be too enmeshed in the busy-ness of everyday life (work for example) to spare any head space for the coming child. A mood of hopeful tranquillity will help both you and Baby. You might find it good to dwell on the words of Julian of Norwich. She was the one who first wrote, 'All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.' Also, she believed that the mother's role was the truest of all jobs on earth. How wonderfully affirming is that?